Superstars!

Posted on December 31st, 2005 by Maristar

Today, I thought I would pass along this music clip that a couple friends of mine made. They were using some new music program and made a demo of Aerosmith’s “Crazy” - a song they were very familiar with. I truly think that my friends could be on the road to stardom, and thought I would give you all a sneak peak before they became rich and famous. They’ve started working on an album, but I don’t think it’s going to be in stores until the fall. Until then, you will just have to live with this.

CrazyKaraoke.wma (apologies for the non-mp3-ness)

12 comments : D to 'Superstars!'

  1. on December 31st, 2005 at 12:34 pm #

    weasel said,

    Your post is so short it’s ruining my site formatting! Now I *have* to post a comment to lengthen it up a bit.

    I can’t wait for the album - what’s the band name anyway?

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    on December 31st, 2005 at 1:18 pm #

    Jabobo said,

    *click* BOOM.

    *blood drips………*

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    on December 31st, 2005 at 1:38 pm #

    BRu said,

    I am shocked, appalled at the length of this post, in my outrage I give it a standing ovation.

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    on December 31st, 2005 at 4:18 pm #

    Maggie said,

    So on a brilliance scale - this beats Greg the Christmas Frog, and Greg the Christmas Frog was absolutely brilliant.
    I think I recognized those voices. They were stunning. Stunning. Like stun gun stunning. I was so stunned, I was frozen to my chair with my fingers trying desparately to reach the volume control on my speakers but they couldn’t move. STUNNED, was Maggie by this performance. Stunned.

  5. on December 31st, 2005 at 4:22 pm #

    weasel said,

    I dunno, Maggie - I think Greg the Christmas Frog’s singing was much better than this.

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    on December 31st, 2005 at 4:34 pm #

    Poet said,

    I listened the whole way through, and I claim some kind of moral victory.

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    on December 31st, 2005 at 8:01 pm #

    Maggie said,

    No way! Greg didn’t have the out of tune singing when it was suppose to be harmony and then correct it like these amazing artists did so well. And Poet, I listened all the way through as well - twice. I win.

  8. on December 31st, 2005 at 9:48 pm #

    Maristar said,

    Um…I don’t think there were supposed to be any harmony parts Maggie…I think those were just wrong notes…

    I mean - not wrong notes. Super awesome ones.

  9. on December 31st, 2005 at 9:56 pm #

    weasel said,

    I hear a whole lot of jealous voices out there. But noone is more jealous than I, who got had to see them in concert.

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    on January 2nd, 2006 at 6:11 pm #

    Maggie said,

    I was trying to be nice Maristar… Shall I say what I really thought of the performance? I don’t wanna pull a Simon but I could. I pulled a quazi-Simon at work one day - made a kid cry. Kid was convinced she rocked and wanted to sing for the school but sadly, she really couldn’t do it but had great potential. I had people stopping me in the hall and staff room asking me what I’d say b/c she was so upset. I’m a horrible person but really I saved the kid and the school.

  11. on January 3rd, 2006 at 12:24 pm #

    Fozzie said,

    And that’s how Avril Lavigne’s career came to an end….

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    on January 20th, 2007 at 4:30 pm #

    Leo said,

    One cause of death was especially increased. Among men, those who took sleeping pills 30 times a month had 7 times the risk of suicide! WBR LeoP

Put those fingers to the keys!

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PoolGuy

Posted on December 30th, 2005 by weasel

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, Fozzie has been sick this week - which sucks, since he’s (in my opinion) the best writer here. We’re hoping he gets better and back to posting sometime next week! Get well soon!

But wait, I’ll need more filler for friday than this. Howzabout another pool story?

Remember Mister Schlong from my pool? Back on my personal blog I mentioned him a few times:

- When he first molested me
- When he haunted my dreams

I’ve seen him here and there a few times since, but today was really really creepy. He came into the pool area, dangled his feet in the water a bit, then retreated down the hall to the change rooms. But he kept leaning out the door and spying on me in the water.

He was naked.

It was freaky.

So I thought I was just being paranoid, so I walk back there and take a quick “cool-off” shower and as I head back to the pool I’m sure to close the change room door tight behind me. And sure enough, out he leans again a few minutes later.

Each time I went back to the change room, he’d dissapear into the sauna. So the final time I decide to actually get out, and I step into the sauna.

IT’S COLD.

And there he was, sitting in it, all naked. He shrugs and says he likes it like that. RIGHT. What a freak-o!

2 comments : D to 'PoolGuy'

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    on December 30th, 2005 at 2:24 pm #

    BRu said,

    I think we have found the offical Hal’s Diller.

    Now on the matter of Fozzie being sick and at home from work, I am left thinking that unless he has no computer at home and makes all his posts from work then he is either really sick or he is Hal Jr.

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    on December 31st, 2005 at 3:12 am #

    Poet said,

    I think he’s just ashamed of his adapted way of swimming, and was using the sauna as a waiting room for the five appendage freestyle. You aren’t ready for it, trust me.

Put those fingers to the keys!

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Bland Canada

Posted on December 29th, 2005 by Maristar

Canada’s fast food crap is just how I like it - bland and boring.

You can keep your extra trans-fats South of the border thanks. I like Canadian mush - mostly since I’ve been raised on it, and don’t really know the difference. It’s a lot easier not to care, when you don’t know what you’re missing out on, while receiving the health benifits.

Besides, if we want something flavourful and bad for us, we can always go to almost any fast food chain and get a nice healthy portion of poutine!

14 comments : D to 'Bland Canada'

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    on December 29th, 2005 at 2:17 am #

    deek said,

    Weasel beautifully illustrates why I could never live in Canada.

  2. on December 29th, 2005 at 7:35 am #

    weasel said,

    Well, Mountain Dew is one of those weird ones. Very high profile american product, sold differently here. There are several beverages here that are illegal in the US due to it’s high caffeine content, so neener neener.

    The whole “mountain dew” thing is resultant of our “Cola” versus “Juice” laws. Colas are neigh unrestricted. But Sprite/Mountain Dew/etc. got labelled “carbonated fruit juices” (which is pretty accurate actually) at the border. Just recently they got that appealed.

  3. on December 29th, 2005 at 7:36 am #

    weasel said,

    And poutine kicks holy ass. I get it anytime I go to Burger King.

    Who is, by the way, king of burgers.

  4. on December 29th, 2005 at 1:43 pm #

    Maristar said,

    I think Canadian Mountain Dew is kinda like a sweetened, slightly tangier Fresca. Either way it’s gross. God I hate Mountain Dew.

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    on December 29th, 2005 at 6:39 pm #

    BRu said,

    I would have to say, I will take my lack of taste and the states can keep their tasty foods and their large abundance of fat people to.

  6. on December 30th, 2005 at 8:58 am #

    weasel said,

    I think Mountain Dew tastes a lot like Fresca but without the tang. In yo’ face, woman!

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    on January 3rd, 2006 at 1:06 pm #

    Basilisk said,

    As my Pa is a Southerner, I have learned the fine culinary art of making fried chicken. Now, fried chicken is not exactly a rarity up here (but I do not count KFC as “fried”. The Colonel’s big innovation was to pressure cook chicken to make it ready faster. Hence why it’s often soggy, and smells like ass.), I mean many grocery stores carry it in the deli. Nobody up here knows how to make it, though. A certain store (let’s call them Slaveway cooks a bunch early in the day - then leaves it to slowly dessicate under heat lamps. Another store (let’s call them Rifty’s) has the soggyness of KFC down pat, but with a pale insipid color, and undercooked to boot.
    Many stores are obviously wary of the stigma attatched to the word “fried”, so they have begun using the term “hot buttered chicken”.

    So I make it myself. Deep fried in oil, my friends, unabashedly. You can’t get that at “Timmy’s”. All Canadians who have tried it love my chicken, so maybe we don’t all really want bland food, we just don’t have enough alternatives.

    Poutine? Bah! What passes for that in Western Canada is a joke. Cow Sandwich Monarch uses vegetable based gravy on theirs. Bloody Awful. If you can’t stand to have your “gravy” contaminated with meat, go eat at a restaurant that doesn’t feature meat in every other meal they make!

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    on January 10th, 2006 at 12:38 pm #

    Gwyd said,

    Holy socialism, batman.

    It doesnt bother you that you’re not given the choice of wether to eat unhealthy or not?

    Granted, look what its doing to America’s lazy and retarded, but still. I prefer the choice, personally.

    When MacDonalds stopped sellin supersized fries (Which were only 25 cents more than large fries.), I yelled at the manager of my local branch, and made a phone call. It obviouslly did nothing, but god damnit, why am I not given the freedom to eat what was previouslly available to me? These other peoples freedoms somehow restricting mine? They claim its their freedom to make macdonalds stop “making people fat” by “forcing” unhealthy foods upon society.

    Yet there in Canada, you’ve got them forcing healthy foods upon you.

    It’s not better. It’s worse. With the way it was, and still largely is, here, you can eat something unhealthy. What americans have yet to fathom is, how to be responsible for your own individual choices.

    Im about 190, 6.0ft. If I lived in Canada, I’d be 160, no doubt. I *have* been 225. No lie. Once I stopped bein a self-pity party, and accepted that my behaviors were the cause of it, and that I needed to take effective counter-action, such as excercise, or inserting healthy meals interspersed amongst unhealthy, etc… instead of blaming macdonalds, or society, or our government, I blamed myself… and I was definitely to blame.

    190 is certainlly not terribly overweight, and I know exactly why I’m not 160. I accept that. Bring on the super sized fries. Oh, you dont serve them anymore? Cuz a buncha fat people blamed you for their lazyness? Shoot.

    Now I have to buy 2 mediums.

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    on January 11th, 2006 at 12:14 pm #

    Basilisk said,

    You don’t really know what socialism is. That’s because socialism is: “the theory or system of the ownership and operation of the means of production and distribution by society rather than by private individuals, with all members of the community coerced to share in the work and the products.”

    Under that system, Canadians would be forced to toil away making french fries, but we would equally share in the revenue generated by them, supersized or not.

    I believe you are thinking of fascism, which is:“a totalitarian political system led by a single dictator who allows no opposition, promoting an aggressive nationalism and often racism.”

    Golly, I can’t imagine anything like that going on, that would mean things like unauthorized wiretaps, torture, imprisonment without trial, submachinegun armed policemen on the streets of large cities, pre-emptive resource wars, war profiteering, racial profiling, election fraud, etc.

    The Canadian government, in their wisdom has undoubtedly realized that all those things are caused by too many trans-fats.

    Those fucking commies.

  10. on January 11th, 2006 at 12:39 pm #

    Maristar said,

    supersized fries = people gain weight and illnesses = increased medical expenses (which people in canada don’t pay for directly) = my taxes go up to keep your french-fry enjoying ass alive.

    I don’t tend to agree with our government, but in this case: no supersized fries for you!

  11. Default Image

    on January 11th, 2006 at 1:15 pm #

    Gwyd said,

    :)

    Basilisk has it out for me.

    His own pasted definitions, whereby a government is controlling the products produced by its people, is socialism.

    I wasnt by any means painting a shiny picture of America, a Fascist-TheoCapitalist place…

    I live in Cali, man. To give you a slight more insight as to where Im coming from. I and a couple of friends welcome Canada to Annex the west coast of america and call it Baja Canada…

    As people do, however, quicker to point out flaws elsewhere, than to look in the mirror.

    I was merely pointing out a subject-oriented thing that I found a bit over the top, and produced a story from my own experience that was somewhat related. Which is, btw, a flaw in US, as well.

    I think the presence of a w in my nick has confused Basilisk into beleiving I support our president ;)

  12. Default Image

    on January 11th, 2006 at 2:46 pm #

    Basilisk said,

    Sorry if you think I am against you. I was just trying to point out the food fascists in our Canadian midst. I didn’t say ANYTHING about America.

    I love America. I fully expect that within 50 years they will annex Canada, and call it “Northern Idaho”. We will welcome the liberators with open arms and bouquets of flowers. It will be like the end of WWII, only with better music. Manifest Destiny in high definition! The Americanadian Anschluss!

    Why would you want to be annexed by us?? We have no aircraft carriers, no NASCAR, and Celine Dion is still alive!

    Plus, with Canadian content rules, all Baja Canada would have to endure endless radio playlists of Anne Murray, Stompin’ Tom, and The Tragically Hip (and the aforementioned Miss Dion).

    You may not want to paint a shiny picture of America, but with her progressive policies and attitudes and the unanimous worldwide support she continues to enjoy, she is a dazzling portrait of the future.

    Say what you want, but don’t besmirch my America.

  13. on January 11th, 2006 at 8:10 pm #

    weasel said,

    Goddamn yanks! The whole lot of ya!

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    on January 13th, 2006 at 7:38 am #

    Gwyd said,

    progressive policies? Is that like… some kind of joke?

    We’re debating wether or not Intelligent Design is a scientific theory, or worthy of being taught to our children, as opposed to something with a bit of history as far as scientific research goes, the world over.

    And Capitalism isnt progressive. It progression is equal to or less than the amount necessary to be a profitable venture, and/or the tax writeoff cap.

    Electoral College… Ohio’s votes decide elections? When a country starts dismissing one of its largest contributing states input and continues to listen to the farmer/bible belt for votes, policy making, and presidential candidates, you start to wonder why you’re a part of the whole deal to begin with.

    A majority of the mexican border policies and immigration policies are being decided upon by Arizona and New Mexico, and in some cases…. texas *shudder*.. when about 70% of the landscaping/gardening, painting, and basic construction, let alone central californian farm work, are done by illegal immigrants.

    We’re requiring third and 4th airbags for our astronauts before we’ll “let them” do work in space, a progressive venture, by the way. Astronauts are friggen on the line for a reason. Its not like making sure the office secratary doesnt leave the bottom drawer of the file cabinet open. And there seems to be more interest in restricting space flight via “safety protocols” than giving our active and in-jeapardy military troops in a war that disgusts me, the adequate support they need, to be as safe as they can be. And they’re the ones actually risking their lives daily, to boot.

    I watch this “progression” you speak of, and begin to get dizzy, and ill.

Put those fingers to the keys!

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Crab Juice

Posted on December 29th, 2005 by weasel

I remember this one time, I was on a band trip to Calgary, where there was a big music festival going on. This american boy convinced my own young mind to go ahead and try the “wild and crazy” Mountain Dew. He swore that his parents wouldn’t let him drink it, but he snuck some anyway! (OMFG)

And I tried it…

And it was OK… I kinda liked it, being heavily sugared and citrisified. And to this day I still drink it (half because of taste, half because it reminds me of this story)…

But then I found out ten years later that there was no caffeine in it. Only recently in Canada has Mountain Dew been allowed copious amounts of added caffeine (hence the new “XTREME mountain dew” on the shelves today).

I always wondered why people would go snowboarding and mountain biking all extreme-like with such a pansy-tasting beverage…

Comments are closed.

Double Stuff Standards

Default Image Posted on December 29th, 2005 by Poet

I hate Canada.

Everything here tastes less. There is some Canadian equivalent of the Food and Drug Administration that must actually sit around thinking of ways for the food to taste worse. Its somehow illegal to cook with animal fat here, therefore the burgers don’t taste as good. MacDonald’s fries aren’t cooked in the same oil, and they taste worse. Coke here tastes like diet coke in the United States, and don’t get me started on how repulsive Canadian Sprite is. I would rather drink mineral water.

Oreos don’t taste like chocolate - I kid you not I bought a box of Canadian imitation oreos, ate one, spit it out, and threw away the bag. It was even worse. Soft serve here tastes terrible. Its not rich and creamy because for some reason there is some ingredient (probably the animal - milk - fat) that is not allowed to be present. Oreo blizzards taste like chalk, and I love oreo blizzards.

I tell you that Canadians are not more healthy on a trend than Americans because of their “active lifestyles” and their “health conscious food choices”. It is because the only thing that you can buy in this country that tastes as it should is sushi (which I admit is delicious) and cannot possibly get you fat.

If everything you could eat tasted like it had a healthy dose of chalk in it, you would be skinny too.

Comments are closed.

The Chocolate Chute

Posted on December 28th, 2005 by the Thing

Dear Maggie, how come we can send robots to the planet Mars, but I can’t get a cellular phone signal in my bedroom—no, nearly a 10 mile radius of my bedroom? And why is it I pay far out the ass for this highly advanced, reliable technology? (I really truly pay far out the ass. I am raped in the chocolate chute every time I look at my bill)

Asspainingly,
Jon

Dear Jon, (cool – I’ve always wanted to start a letter like that)

Dear Jon,

The simple answer is greed. Greedy people, who want to be the first to launch a rocket, orbit the earth, land on the moon, land on mars, walk on mars and send robots and machines to the far ends of the galaxy are making your cell phone reception suck. They have decided in their infinite wisdom that you – you Jon – are not worthy of their time and effort. You are forced to suffer the inconveniences of half assed technological efforts while succumbing to brilliant marketing ploys of modern technology wizards that spend your hard earned money so they can waste their time playing around in their fancy dancy space ships trying to ‘discover’ things! Likely there are also like minded marvels working in the medical profession making machines that can do microscopic surgeries or find the cures for things (but not the common cold because that’s too common for them to waste their time on) instead of making your cell phone reception better! The absolute NERVE of these people makes me want to bash their heads with my crank wall phone receiver!

Come on people! Jon needs his cell phone to work clearly not just INSIDE the bedroom for all those calls he makes while he’s in there but OUTSIDE the bedroom as well… Wait, Jon – did you ever think that it could be the numbers that you’re dialling are the reason for your outrageous bills? I mean – maybe those were suppose to be 800’s instead of 900’s you dialled….. just maybe something to look into….

Some other things to look into: Does it take batteries and are they new or recharged? Does your cell phone company actually have service in the area or are you trying to use a foreign standard like GSM 900 when you should be using GSM 1900? Is your cell phone not really a cell phone at all but a portable phone that’s base unit isn’t plugged in?

I have a question for you: ever heard of a land line? Now I know that I may be one of the few people living in the Dark Age that actually still uses a land line but I find it a fairly reliable piece of technology and also allow me to escape the constant bombardment of phone calls and text messages from adoring fans. I’m not condemning cell phones as I too wish I had one once in a while but if you’re that bent out of shape over the unreliability of the little handy tool then cut the strings and break free from the confines of the modern world and run naked though the fields of wildflowers using semaphore to communicate your thoughts. Phone sex would be a little more difficult but I’m sure there are special flags signals for those purposes.

4 comments : D to 'The Chocolate Chute'

  1. Default Image

    on December 28th, 2005 at 3:59 am #

    BRu said,

    Flag signals, try having phone sex via morse code, or my presonal favorite smoke signals. Oddly enough “I hate your guts” and “ohhhh baby faster” are easy to confuse.

    All joking aside, I one of these horrid contraptions but in all fairness, it is my choice to have it and my choice to get bombarded with calls from friends or wrong numbers waking me up.

    All in all it does make my life a wee bit easier - is it really worth all of it - only time will tell

  2. on December 28th, 2005 at 7:56 am #

    weasel said,

    I thought I saw some little signal flags with boobs on them. Now I know what they’re for!

    I like using a cellphone as a portable answering machine. I usually only pick up if I’m expecting a call, and I never check my mail when I’m busy with something else. I only give or get calls when I feel like it. :P

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    on January 3rd, 2006 at 1:13 pm #

    Basilisk said,

    Cellphones are wondrous devices. As radio transmitters go, they are clearly rivalled by cheap walkie talkies made for kids. But, maybe you could try a higher elevation, a larger antenna, or better yet get a 1500 watt linear amplifier. Of course this would subvert the whole “cellular” aspect of the technology, but you’d never have to ask “Can you hear me now?”

  4. Default Image

    on January 10th, 2006 at 12:21 pm #

    Gwyd said,

    The discoveries are what will allow me to say “Can you hear me now?” from my orbital space pagoda that I’ll be retiring in, that’ll be in an geosynchronus orbit around Mars.

    Without innovation and discovery, you wouldnt have a cell phone at all, or the keyboard you’re typing on. Convenience be damned.

    I don’t have a land line, nor desire one. And since I dont have one, I’d like all the telephone poles and wires along my street taken down, so I can wonder at the sky without interuption from foreign unnecessary objects if people who suggest remaining in the dark ages is some semblance of convenience for anyone, including themselves, would just get out of the cave and get a damn cell phone.

    If all the cave dwellers requested service in the area, you bet your ass you’d get reception.

Put those fingers to the keys!

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What I wouldn’t do

Posted on December 27th, 2005 by Maristar

For a million dollars, I would let a rich stranger have their way with Weasel for the night.

As Weasel is going to school right now, we tend to be a little financially strained (PLEASE DONATE TO OUR SITE). So right now, what I would do for money, is probably a bit different from what I would normally do for money.

I want to lead a good life - I’ve worked my way into a career where I can still respect myself at the end of the day. Of course, for this I’ve had to sacrifice a big paycheque. This was the choice that I made. At the end of my life, I want to be able to look back, and feel good about the way I lived my life. I know I’ll make mistakes, and flat out bad choices, but if I can look back and be proud of most of my life, then I’m happy.

I value family and friends more than money too. It’s hard in today’s world to remember how valuable they can be, and find time for them in our lives. I tend to feel conflicted a lot due to the demands my job makes on my time. It’s hard to miss out on visits with friends I haven’t seen in years, and living so far away from my family, and just working the exact opposite schedule of Weasel. Unfortunatley, this particular job is so helpful to my career, that the time I’m sacrificing with them now is really for the sake of our future. It’s not the money that causes the sacrifice, rather the knowledge that it will enhance the lives of the people most important to me.

I need to earn money to live, and I enjoy my work so that’s all good. I draw the line when earning money begins to interfere with my family life or causes me to compromise my morals. There’s a lot I won’t do for money - I know that and I’m ok with that decision, and the knowledge that I probably won’t be receiving a lot of money in my life.

Self-respect is expensive.

2 comments : D to 'What I wouldn’t do'

  1. on December 27th, 2005 at 2:50 am #

    weasel said,

    Turns out we get let off at 6pm today - store wasn’t as busy as we had expected. :/ But still workin’ like a summabitch for the time I was there :( Still 12 hours :(

  2. Default Image

    on December 27th, 2005 at 10:48 am #

    BRu said,

    Ya it was a little bit of a nutters invasion and I got stuck working tills/cash which was even crazier then working the floor.

Put those fingers to the keys!

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