Something occurred to me the other day - I have now had a weekly column on the daily blitz longer than anyone else. True enough, weasel is still writing more than me now that he is doing the aviation section, but I am the last weekly writer of the original 4.

So it should come as no surprise that my articles are being submitted later and later, as I have less and less to write about.

As I’ve been feeling a bit lost lately, I’m considering a new direction for mondays. I’m going to be cooking and testing out a bunch of different soup recipes out. My idea was to create a soup at home, and post the name and pictures of it, as well as a quick description. With a little help from readers, people could give me some feedback on whether or not the soup sounds good. Weasel was saying he might even turn it into a poll for those who shy away from commenting.

Thoughts?

I had promised this story a few weeks ago, but got distracted in the pomp and circumstance of Superfun Awards Week. So, here goes.

Does anyone other than me remember Video and Arcade Top 10? I’m sure you do. It was a half hour commercial for Nintend…cough cough…I mean a show where various kids competed to see who was the ULTIMATE GAMER! If they were able to properly conquer the epic battle that was Earthworm Jim 2 (or whatever the game du jour was), they would claim a prize from the wall and be the envy of the other three nerds in town who watched the show.

Being a fastidious nerd myself, I was one of those three nerds in Moncton who watched the show. As such, I recall a man known as Nicholas Picholas. He was a somewhat rotund, black-haired, grown-up nerd who would get very excited at the very idea of a new game, or opening a letter from some desperate kid who’s only friends were plumbers, hedgehogs and little blue robots.

Years later, Beaton and I started watching the great sketch comedy show Mr. Show, and I saw a guy on that show who played a quick bit character called “Champion The Drinker,” among other small roles. He was another rotund, dark-haired fella, so I thought it was the same guy. As it turns out I was wrong. “Champion The Drinker” was played by a great comedian and writer by the name of Paul F. Thompkins. Nicholas Picholas still hasn’t revealed his real name, but he currently works as a radio host, and according to the station’s website, he became a father last year. Good for him. The important thing:

is not as funny as

You’ll probably say something here like “Geez, Hawk, they don’t really look alike.” And you would be right. However, keep in mind that that is a current picture of Paul F. Thompkins. On the Mr. Show audio commentaries, he quips “Please know that as you listen to this, I am not nearly that fat anymore.” So they looked more alike when Champion The Drinker had a little more insulation on him. Back to the story!

So I’m watching V&A Top10 one day, and Nicholas Picholas pulls out the trivia question of the week. “Which character in Street Fighter II uses a fireball?”

Let me tell you, I LOVED Street Fighter II. It was my all time favorite game at the time, and one or another of the 700 different variations Capcom put out is probably my favorite fighting game ever. (Runs back, checks earlier posted list of my favorite video games ever) Yep, Street Fighter II Turbo. You can keep your Mortal Kombat and your Tekken and your Dead or Alive, and as much as I like it, you can keep your Soul Calibre as well. I don’t need any other fighting games.

Not having enough money to purchase the game myself, and resigned to renting it once every few months or so, I was salivating at the chance to win a copy of the game from ol’ Nicky Picky. So I did what any self respecting nerd would have done in my position: I nerded out. I believe my letter went something like this:

“Dear Mr. Picholas,

Regarding your recent query as to who used a fireball in Street Fighter II, I would tell you that Ryu, Ken, Dhalsim and Sagat all utilize fireballs in the game. Also, I should note that Guile uses a Sonic Boom, which technically isn’t a fireball, but acts in much the same way. Ryu, Ken, and Sagats are not simply fireballs, but known as Hadokens and Tiger Balls (hindsight note: funniest attack name ever!) respectively. Also, in the soon-to-be-released Street Fighter II Turbo, Chun Li appears to have a fireball, but I will have to play it when it comes out. Or you could make my dreams come true and just send me the game. After all, its the least you could do after I’ve exploded my nerdiness all over the back of your head like Pee Wee Herman at a porno theatre (hindsight note: topical even then!).

Thanks in advance.

Love,
Little Hawkeye”

So, I sealed up my letter and, I’m sure, much to my Mom’s chagrin, she gave me a stamp for this “foolishness.” As the months passed, I totally forgot about this contest and got caught up with whatever happened to be going on in school at the time. I think it had something to do with a controversy over Ray Maillet eating boogers.

Then, I came home one day and Mom tells me “You got some package from a TV studio in Ontario.” As you all seem fond of saying around here, I peed a little. I believe my exact quote was something to the effect of “OHMYGODTHEYSENTMESTREETFIGHTER!!!!
THATSTHEBESTSHOWEVER!!!!ILOVESHOWSTHATGIVEMESTREETFIGHTER!!!!!”

So, I tore the package with more excitement than Christmas and Easter combined.

I un-peed myself. Disappointment just begins to describe what I felt. I kind of just stared at it for a while and wondered if this was some kind of joke. Maybe they put Street Fighter in the box of this baseball game just to mess with me. Nope, the cartridge was in there too. Ugh. Well, maybe the game will be alright.

Nope. Worst baseball game I’ve ever played. The controls are irritating, the graphics are insipid, the audio is a pain in the ass, the differences between the players are marginal and the game is simply not fun. Baseball on Atari is probably better. The only positive I found to this game was if you could manage to hit a home run, there would be a little animation featuring Pac-Man (another creation by Namco). Just a terrible game that is not fun in anyway.

Now, to be fair, theres only really been one baseball game I’ve enjoyed.

Robots playing baseball and beating the scrap out of each other really makes up for the crappy pace of video baseball.

What’s the moral of this tale of disenchantment? Don’t try to get video games out of Nicholas Picholas. He’ll just break your heart and numb your mind with shitty baseball games. Also, never play Super Batter Up. Stick with Wii Sports baseball, or Basewars. And lets petition Konami to make a new version of Basewars.

I’m hoping this will become a new daily feature here on TDB, to keep you - the reader! - informed of what’s going on outside your windows. Just a test run though. Let me know what you think!

Without further ado, here’s what happened while you were at church!

WORLD NEWS:

• Iraq and Iran are both fucked up. There’s some sort of big conference happening in the Middle East and some hostages were freed in Afghanistan. Israel is going to hang it’s Prime Minister and Darfur, Somalia, Turkey, and a bunch of other headline-familiar places are doing wacky things.

SPORTS NEWS:

• In NHL news, the Canucks lost to the Ducks 3-2 tonight in game 3. The series is now 2-1. It really looked like the Canucks weren’t trying; they didn’t have anyone in front of the net at all!
• NBA: New Jersey defeats Toronto, 102-81. I didn’t watch that game.

CELEBRITY GOSSIP:

• Alec Baldwin defends his VIOLENT OUTBURST on The View! He called up his 11-year-old daughter and chewed her out for not picking up the phone. Then the daughter gives the tape to the tabloids. HOORAY! This actually affects me because he is asking to quit 30 Rock. SAY NO, NBC!
• Stephen Hawking In Zero-G! Yeah, I didn’t believe it either, but there he is! There’s even a photo of his stupid smug face. I can’t wait till I get to go on one of those rides.

LOCAL NEWS:

I’m temporarily living in a really small community and I love the show stopping stories that adorn the front-page news:

• Brenden Bortoletto is engrossed in creating artwork. STOP THE PRESSES!..?
• Rumors are Flying about Ice Allocation!!! HOLY SHIT! Those rumors are flying all over the place! I was just walking down the street and the neighbors were in an uproar about it!
• Bell sounding Alarm! City plans to do something about it maybe!
• City considers getting a cellphone in 2008!
• Very smart man thinks he can find the Holy Grail in Western Canada! OBVIOUSLY!

FASHION NEWS:

• This chick has a bunch of footwear she shoved into beehives to create a “Bee-altered” line of shoes.

MUSIC NEWS:

• The RIAA has stated that they own the rights to collect royalties on ALL music played over internet-radio, whether or not the artists have signed up with the RIAA… or even a label.
• The Barnaked Ladies beg the music industry to adopt a new music licensing scheme that doesn’t screw the consumers

AWESOME NEWS:

• Steampunk Guitar goes on sale. WICKED.
• In 1979, the CIA set up shop in the middle east as a film production company and busted out some POWs during a casting call
• This Old House’s inspection nightmares are always fun to look at.

Yeah, it’s been about 6 months and it’s time to revamp the page style again. I’ve picked a fairly neutral color scheme that I think will be agreeable to everyone. Comments?

I’d put up an “under-construction” animated GIF but I don’t want to give you epileptic seizures from all the flashbacks to 1996.

We’re still working on a logo and/or mascot to put in the header somewhere, too!

And for those who might be interested, here’s a comic… kinda.

Remember, visit our site for more Non Stop Pop

Brevity is the order of the day today. This is being written on a borrowed laptop with a stolen wi-fi signal deep from within the bowels of the US of A. I wanted to write all about ultimate frisbee this week, seeing as that’s why I’m down here in Oregon, but the journey took many hours longer than anticipated.

Instead, all I can offer is the main source of inspiration which has propelled our humble college team to such stratospheric heights of achievement. Drink deep and be empowered. Sort of like Lion-O with his creepy phallic sword or Mum-ra with his pool of purple goo.

Ok, so we’ve got a little theme of lists going on this week. I’d say I’m contributing to this but really I am just stealing Hawkeye’s idea of making a year’s best pile of lists, even though it isn’t the new year. Nobody bothered with this stuff during the actual new year, so really we’re all just making up for lost time.

Anyway I’m going to talk about music, since that’s what I feel like making lists about. Please bear in mind that I can’t even read music, so no way am I going to critique this stuff, I am just going to tell you what I liked and throw some stories in. Ready? Let’s go!

MUSIC I LIKED

Camera Obscura- Let’s Get Out Of This Country – June 2006
This was highly anticipated, because their previous album Underachievers Please Try Harder made me the happiest girl in town. I already said in a comment on Hawkeye’s post that I liked it. I also mentioned the fact that they are compared to Belle and Sebastian a lot. That gets annoying. Here’s a secret that makes me not hip, so careful who you tell: I don’t give a shit about Belle and Sebastian. These guys though, are great.

The Kooks- Inside In/Inside Out – January 2006
I know this breaches the year mark but I didn’t find out about it until last summer. And it’s so good! I’m not sure why a lot of people I mention these guys to don’t know who they are. I would feel cool and on the inside except of course, I know better than that.

The Be Good Tanyas- Hello Love – October 2006
Sweet folk soul sung by barefoot girls from British Columbia. In summer 2004 we played their album Blue Horse over and over again while my friend Steph and I did house cleaning and tried to get rid of the ants in the kitchen. We never got rid of the ants. This year I got the new album in the fall and it felt like the wrong season for it without a flowery breeze coming in through the window.

I’m From Barcelona- Let Me Introduce My Friends – August 2006
There are a 29 people in this band and they are the happiest people you have ever met. Their music is infectious and gleeful, and they sing about tree houses and stamp collections. You don’t even know them and they are already your friends. How great is that?

The Decemberists- The Crane Wife – October 2006
I love the Decemberists so much. I love Colin Meloy and his big giant head (it’s huge!). They played in Vancouver in the fall and I was so sad I couldn’t go that I got drunk that weekend and talked to my roommates for like an hour about how great I thought the Decemberists were and then fell asleep on the couch.

Joel Plaskett- Ashtray Rock – April 2007
Obviously I like Joel Plaskett. People here who find out I’m from Nova Scotia assume it and they may as well. Halifax loves itself. If Joel Plaskett decided to run for Mayor of Halifax and make the guys from Wintersleep the new City Council it would happen in a half an hour and anyone who opposed it would be tarred and feathered and ran out of the province. Also, this album is wicked, please buy it.

The Dears- Gang of Losers – September 2006
This album made me grateful that I lived in the basement of my first apartment in Victoria, otherwise, my roommates would have heard the song “There Goes My Outfit” like 30 times a day and would probably have been annoyed.

Annuals – Be He Me – October 2006
Once, I was walking down the street listening to my ipod and ran into one of my bosses from work. Later, she told me I looked absolutely vacant and off in space. I was listening to Annuals.

Now to switch gears!
New list:
MUSIC I AM EXCITED TO HEAR WHENEVER I GET AROUND TO IT
Feist – The Reminder
Modest Mouse – We Were Dead Before This Ship Even Sank
Andrew Bird – Armchair Apocrypha
Jarvis Cocker – Jarvis

I wish I was Feist. And I wasn’t even aware of the Jarvis Cocker album until a bunch of people I know booked tickets for his show in Vancouver and now I feel like I’m missing out on something.

Next list:
VICTORIA SHOWS I LIKED THE BEST

The Bicycles – November 2006
The Bicycles were touring around, and had a show in Washington that got cancelled. So they scheduled one in Victoria last minute instead and played in a tiny room to like 30 excited people. It was, pardon my language, the best fucking thing I’ve ever seen.

The New Pornographers – October 2006
The only thing that made me sad about this show was the fact that Neko Case wasn’t there. A music reporter person came up to me during the show and asked what I thought, and I remember shouting back “I LOVE NEKO CASE BUT SHE’S NOT HERE,” which was very unhelpful, probably. Other than that, of course the New Pornographers put on a good show! Sing me spanish techno, boys.

The Constantines – April 2007
This is the third time I have been to a Constantines show, once in Moncton, once in Edmonton, and now in Victoria. Every time, they kick ass because they are obviously awesome. This time, they ended the show with a cover of Thunderstruck, which was awesome x 10. Did I say awesome yet? They are awesome. What is up with the wolves in that picture though?

And lastly, just for the record:
VICTORIA SHOWS IN THE PAST YEAR I’M SORRY I MISSED
Akron/Family
The Be Good Tanyas
Great Lake Swimmers
David Francey

Ah well. Next time.