I work in a comic shop in Vancouver, in fact “The Comic Shop”, of course a shameless plug. But I have recently noticed what with escalated business no doubt due to the holiday season that we suddenly have an overflow of middle-to elder aged women milling about the shop. When a woman over the age of forty five enters a store such as ours her eyes become wide with wonder and fear she is bombarded by many shapes colours, and even odours that belong no where but in a comic shop. The mouth drops and there is a slightly quivering of the lower lip. There is a five second window where they will either decide to brave the storm for their loved one’s gifts, or simply turn tail and sprint through the still open door.
I tried “real turkish delight” the other day. Let me tell you, when I first read “The Lion the witch and the wardrobe” I imagined Turkish delight to be a magical treat. Imagine letting your nose run into an ice cube tray, and leaving it for a week or so to solidify, then sprinkle liberally with powdered sugar, and you essentially have “Turkish delight”. The instant I popped the cubed sweet into my mouth I regretted it. The large globules of gelatinous muck wobbling across my teeth making me wretch as I tried to bite it, but feared what may come squirting from it’s inside. See, in “The Lion the witch and the wardrobe”, the youngest brother Edmund betrays his brother’s and sister’s for turkish delight……..let me tell you I thought that had to be some magical fucking candy to betray his family, and instead it’s like a mouthful of rubbery snot. Edmund? You suck. Not as much as Turkish Delight, but almost.
I hate John Lennon’s “So this is Christmas”.
“So this is christmas, and you’re all a bunch of assholes! So this is christmas feel guilty about everything you have! A very very merry christmas, I hope you all choke on your turkey and feel bad about starving african children”.
That’s why he’s in hell you know?
Guilt tripping Bastard.
on December 21st, 2006 at 9:00 am #
Wow, that’s a lot of topics you just covered. And I want to respond to them all!
Turkish Delights: I had the same thoughts as a kid! It’s a candy I had never run into before, and had only heard in myth and legend. My parents never bought me Toblerone because it was too expensive, but the few times I had it, it was a bottomless pit of happiness and sugar. I only assumed that Turkish Delights were Toblerones to the power of 8. As close as I can come to a Turkish Delight without retching is the “Big Turk” chocolate bar which is decidedly better, but nowhere near perfect. What else can you expect from one of the oldest candies evar made?!
So This Is Christmas: I recently decided to hate this song too, but for different reasons. He’s going on about “this is christmas,” and he also mentions “And a happy new year,” which is the standard fare greeting and I can accept. What I can’t accept is the whole section of verses about how “Now it’s a new year”, “A new year has just begun”, and other common phrases. Now he’s getting specific. Is it christmas, or has a new year just begun? Because new years don’t begin on December 25th. Make up your fucking mind you asshole. “What have you done” indeed, ruining Santa’s birthday by muddling it with the Chinese! [New years]
Teh Comic Shoppe: I see this in electronic stores too. Except that we have flashing lights and animated displays which only put people off more. The funny thing is, the same folks will walk boldly and confidently into a furniture store, and to make up for their performance at a comic store will go ahead and treat the staff like shit. The whole “high and mighty” routine.
on December 22nd, 2006 at 10:45 am #
You know, I was in a store the other day that was selling turkish delight and I thought exactly the same thing - I have to eat this, my childhood books are never wrong. Then again, I did eat something called a Wonka Bar once and it was suspiciously not-magical-and-delicious, more regular-with-gimmick-for-selling.
Besides, upon closer inspection turkish delight looks like it might taste exactly as you described, so I’m glad I have the proof, because if you ask around hardly anyone has ever eaten the stuff. By the way, since I don’t think anyone has mentioned it yet, hey- Scott Pilgrim! Awesome.
on December 29th, 2006 at 9:58 am #
Pffff, Turkish Delight is so delightful. I mean, it is too delightful… not right either, how do you emphasize that word right? Like, “is not”, “is too”.
Wait, is Turkish Delight the gummy stuff they put nuts and dried fruit in sometimes? If so, then get the stuff with the nuts. It is, so.
on May 13th, 2008 at 5:48 pm #
Simple fact is, some cats are very social and LOVE humans and other cats, while others are not, hate other cats, and often only tolerate the humans that feed them. My cat is very anti- social, tries to kill other animals that enter the house, including my uncles Newfoundland, and is scared witless of any humans other than my family and one or two close, calm friends. It seems that you have two cats who are polar opposites. The girl won’t be happy unless she has other cats to play with, and the boy won’t be…