So I’m sitting here at work, it is Christmas day, and I am:

No!! I am not a multi-ethnic group of “employers” who are labelled “all who want to earn cash” by google image search. But the underlying theme IS me! I AM EXCITED! I HAVE A WII!

I’ve spent the last year just dreaming about a Wii but unfortunately my piloting career has rendered me

And I have been feeling like I am living in

I can’t wait until I get home from work (only 8 more hours to go!) so I can play with my new toy… EDIT: Went home on my lunch break and had a round of Wii tennis…

hehe WII

(bonus hardly worksafe nerdcore pic)

Two days late. Whatever. I was busy saving orphans from burning building. Or playing Lego Star Wars. Either way, I had important business to take care of.

Well, gang, we’ve reached the end of our conversational epic with our good friend Gordie here. I want to thank Gord himself and say to him that I hope I don’t have to move back to New Glasgow to see you again you scheming, lousy prick.

Hawkeye: Here’s one that I think you might find interesting. Here’s viral marketing, when there’s no real product involved. To my knowledge, they don’t even have a product, but they have a great commercial. (editor’s note: they probably do have a product, but I can’t find it on the internet, and I won’t buy it, whatever it is, so who cares)

(plays this video, which is truly amazing and you all should watch it to keep up)

Gordie: They really do, this is awesome. I love it.

(Huge laughs all around when Chris kick grandma in the head)

G: If I didn’t already celebrate Alvis day, I’d be all about Chris Christmas Rodriguez. But, I’m all about Alvis, all the way.

(Editor’s note: for more information on Alvis Day, click here.) 

H: Alvis is fantastic, because for how convoluted Christmas has become, you might as well celebrate Alvis Day.

G: I think people should.

H: Alvis or Festivus, or whatever made up celebration you want, it doesn’t matter, because the birth of Jesus and Coca-Cola’s created version of Santa Claus have nothing to do with each other.

G: That’s pretty much it. I really like Steven Colbert around Christmas. “Merry Christmas.” I love his focus on it. He’s not going to go around and say “Happy Holidays.” It’s bullshit. If you’re Jewish, Happy Hannauka, good for you. Most of the people I know, primarily Christian, so I’m going to say Merry Christmas, so fuck off. All I know is I worked at Wal-Mart during the Christmas season, in the electronics section and watched people blow entire cheques on cart loads of bullshit. I don’t do that. I’d be happy if I could do that…(thinks for a second)…no I wouldn’t. I’m happy spending very little. I’m more happy…take for example, my eldest daughter’s birthday. I painted a picture for her, and I give it to her, and unfortunately, the paint I used was kind of potent, and it was pretty fresh. That night, when I had put it in her room, it had to be removed. My mom removed it. My daughter said to her, “no, please, don’t take it, don’t take it. Be careful, it’s special to me.” I thought, “Sweet, she never says that about anything else, any product she’s ever been given. She said it about something I created for her. I’ve looked back on the time spent at Wal-Mart, and I honestly can’t think of one gift I’ve ever given that’s ever been advertised. It’s never been in a flyer, and it’s never been on TV.

H: It’s a strange thing, because for me personally, I’ve come from a place where I was, I think based on the influence of my mom, in a very commercial mindset, but as I grew out of it, I realized the way things were. There’s a story my mom likes to tell, my dad travels a lot with his work. When I was a kid once, we had just dropped my dad off at the airport, he was flying off somewhere, and I started to cry in the car on the way back. She asked me what’s wrong, and I said, “why does dad always have to leave?” So she brought me down to…uh…Consumer’s? Was that the store?

G: Yeah, Consumer’s Distributing.

H: Right. So she took me down there and bought me a Care Bear and that made everything ok. It’s a cute story, but looking back on it, I think “Wow, I was a really easily appeased, commercial whore myself.”

G: “This is happening over here, HEY HEY HEY HEY HEY, over here!”

H: Exactly, it’s a distraction from real issues.

G: Completely.

H: And you almost wonder about, how many people are replacing any real happiness in their lives with products? I’m glad that I’ve gotten out of that sort of thing to the point where I can live in sort of a rat-bag apartment like this with my stereo set-up on top of cardboard boxes.

G: You don’t need status, you just need a good tune to listen to while you wallow in your own self-pity. (laughs)

H: (Laughs) Actually, you might not believe it, but I’m past the point of self-pity now. I revel in this. I’m going to be here till November, and I wish I could be here longer, because I’m really comfortable here.

G: That’s good. I’m glad you’re going to here till November.

(Editor’s note: I ended up only being there until October)

G: I’ll be visiting as often as I can. I hoping to be around as much as I can, but I don’t know with this job. It’s wherever I am, for whatever they want. I came up with a saying recently, “Money can’t buy happiness, because money is happiness.” I’d love to have a lot of money, there’s a billion things I would do with it. I love to be able to afford a decent enough car that works well enough to be able to afford gas to put in it to go to enough crazy places, to not be hungry and take whoever I could possibly take with me, and if they couldn’t afford it, to make sure that they would be able to eat. You know, if I found a really sweet-ass fucking comic I’d like to buy, or 20, to buy them and have a decent soundtrack the whole way. That all costs money. But I don’t want to spend money on status. I want to spend money because there’s a shitload of crap out there that’s really enjoyable, and it all costs money. That’s why I want money. But that’s why money can’t buy happiness, because it is happiness.

H: I don’t care about a flat screen TV, I don’t care about things like that, but I’m more than happy to spend money on a Tom Waits poster.

G: Nice Tom Waits poster!

H: I’ve been looking for one for years. It’s not hanging up yet, because I want to frame it and I don’t have anything to do that with yet.

G: That’s expensive as hell. Back to what we were saying though, when I spend money, I don’t want it to be about status. It’s about collection. It’s about being able to purchase a DVD or some sort of visual media of something that I really enjoy and appreciate, and want to share with someone else, so they can enjoy and appreciate it.

H: It’s so weird when you’re purchasing something from a major corporation that has an anti-corporate slant to it.

G: Yeah.

H: It’s such a weird thing that you wonder…

G: Adbusters approached that a while back when they would do a lot of ad jamming, and they realized a lot of people were opening their eyes to it. The corporations heard that right away, all they have to do is come across the same way as grunge music. “It’s cool to be uncool.” They started to bash themselves, “it’s ok to be uncool.” That’s ass if you ask me. That’s just another form of blatant manipulation. And as I said, I’m all for manipulation. As individuals, manipulation is regular. It’s the manipulation of circumstances.

H: Yeah, well the two of us sitting here have been trying to manipulate each of our various points of view.

G: Unfortunately, it’s more of a discussion than an argument, but when it comes to an argument, the trick is to manipulate the individual to believe the same things you believe in. We just have a healthy outlook on life.

H: That’s probably a good place to end it.

G: I agree. People are jerks, and the only way to change them is by manipulating them, and that’s healthy.

H: Amen.

Well it’s xmas eve and we don’t have anything exciting going on, so I made a cheery color scheme. And this brilliant post. Have some good holiday action everyone!